Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
