my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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