Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
