Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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