Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
