Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
