Don't you send me to vm
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Girls should come with a carfax report
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
