So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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