You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
