Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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