taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
