that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
