I wish I only lived at night.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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