I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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