Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
