Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
