3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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