My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's great music for shaving your balls
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
