she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
