it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
