i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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