I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
