a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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