let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
