ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did I show you my penis last night?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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