Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
