hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
