Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
