The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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