physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
