just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
