i just had sex bonerless
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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