Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
