Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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