six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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