after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
