i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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