Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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