So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize