I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
