woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
