i jhust puked up my retainher.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
