I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
