This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
