alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
