Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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