I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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