im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
