I don't think brook has ever known best
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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