Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize