Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
