he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
