maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
