I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
