you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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