Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
