well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
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We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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