have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
