is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
