I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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