Midget sex pt 2 tonight
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
