3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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