I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
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That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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