Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
