I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
