yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
