It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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