I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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