half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
