she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
