Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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